@fantaghiro
2016-07-07T03:10:32.000000Z
字数 21515
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Say yes, and you're in for more than love, children and a home. Better health and a longer life are part of the deal.
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Miriam Kamin is feeling a lot better now. It was rough there for a while – the collapse of her nine-year marriage, and four years of single parenting while building a career as a corporate blogger. Then, last May, she married Mark, a longtime friend. And that, she says, has made all the difference.
It was rough there for a while – the collapse of her nine-year marriage, and four years of single parenting while building a career as a corporate blogger.
And that, she says, has made all the difference.
"I've struggled with depression for most of my life," she explains. "Yet, despite the fact that I've moved, relocated my kids and am working harder than I have in a very long time, I'm not on medication right now. I had no idea marriage was supposed to be this much fun."
"I've struggled with depression for most of my life," she explains.
Yet, despite the fact that I've moved, relocated my kids and am working harder than I have in a very long time, I'm not on medication right now.
I had no idea marriage was supposed to be this much fun.
Never mind the popular palaver about marriage as a source of bliss for the couple, security for the kids and societal stability. Pair up any two people with often clashing needs, add the pressure-cooker variables of kids, doctor's bills, career, housework, and the fact that someone – he knows who he is – can't pull himself away from the TV during college-basketball season, and there are bound to be problems. Marriage is criticized as a source of stress (and it is), conflict (that too) and endless crises that need to be resolved (guilty there as well).
Never mind the popular palaver about marriage as a source of bliss for the couple, security for the kids and societal stability.
Pair up any two people with often clashing needs, add the pressure-cooker variables of kids, doctor's bills, career, housework, and the fact that someone – he knows who he is – can't pull himself away from the TV during college-basketball season, and there are bound to be problems.
Marriage is criticized as a source of stress (and it is), conflict (that too) and endless crises that need to be resolved (guilty there as well).
But it's also something more. Decades of data collection have shown that marriage – for all its challenges – is like a health-insurance policy. Marriage means no more drinking at bars until closing, no more eating ramen noodles and calling it a meal. Married people are less likely to smoke or drink heavily than people who are single, divorced or widowed. These sorts of lifestyle changes are known to lower rates of cardiovascular disease, cancer and respiratory diseases. And while you might sometimes gripe that your spouse drives you nuts, just the opposite is true. Married people have lower rates of all types of mental illnesses and suicide.
But it's also something more.
Decades of data collection have shown that marriage – for all its challenges – is like a health-insurance policy.
Marriage means no more drinking at bars until closing, no more eating ramen noodles and calling it a meal.
These sorts of lifestyle changes are known to lower rates of cardiovascular disease, cancer and respiratory diseases.
And while you might sometimes gripe that your spouse drives you nuts, just the opposite is true.
Researchers have found that all the health benefits of marriage are consistent across age, race, education and income groups. Some of the reasons for this are obvious. Smoking and drinking naturally decline if you've got a spouse at your side flashing you a don't-you-dare look when you reach for a cigarette or a third glass of wine. Depression and other emotional ills are less likely to go undiagnosed if there's someone at home who's mindful of your moods and notices if they darken. But there are other, less self-evident things at work too – things that scientists and doctors are only now beginning to appreciate fully.
Researchers have found that all the health benefits of marriage are consistent across age, race, education and income groups.
Smoking and drinking naturally decline if you've got a spouse at your side flashing you a don't-you-dare look when you reach for a cigarette or a third glass of wine.
Depression and other emotional ills are less likely to go undiagnosed if there's someone at home who's mindful of your moods and notices if they darken.
But there are other, less self-evident things at work too – things that scientists and doctors are only now beginning to appreciate fully.
truth,statement, `fact 不证自明的真相﹑ 不言而喻的说法﹑ 明摆着的事实For all the safeguards spouses erect around each other, much of what makes marriage so healthy takes place within our bodies. A lot of those benefits come down to the management of stress. The daily stresses of the modern world can throw our bodies into emergency mode and keep us there. That takes a toll through high blood pressure, tension headaches and a lot of gnawed pencils. Being married somehow helps the body circumvent this mess, either by hushing the hypothalamus or reducing cortisol production.
For all the safeguards spouses erect around each other, much of what makes marriage so healthy takes place within our bodies.
A lot of those benefits come down to the management of stress.
The daily stresses of the modern world can throw our bodies into emergency mode and keep us there.
That takes a toll through high blood pressure, tension headaches and a lot of gnawed pencils.
Being married somehow helps the body circumvent this mess, either by hushing the hypothalamus or reducing cortisol production.
This is especially good news for men. A study published in the January 2008 issue of the journal Health Psychology showed that while married men get relief from their workday barrage of stress hormones when they come home after a particularly busy day at work, working women are able to de-stress similarly only if they describe their marriage as a happy one.
A study published in the January 2008 issue of the journal Health Psychology showed that while married men get relief from their workday barrage of stress hormones when they come home after a particularly busy day at work, working women are able to de-stress similarly only if they describe their marriage as a happy one.
There may be a simple explanation for this. It may just be that some women are coming home and facing dinner prep and assisting the kids with homework, and they're not getting the help that the more maritally satisfied women are getting. The full explanation for this gender gap, however, is undoubtedly more complicated than that. Long-term data from an Israeli study, for example, indicate that the life-lengthening powers of marriage have increased over time – but mostly for men. Over nearly two decades, the study found, married men widened the already significant difference in cancer-death incidence between themselves and unmarried men by 25%; married women gained absolutely zero ground over their unmarried peers.
It may just be that some women are coming home and facing dinner prep and assisting the kids with homework, and they're not getting the help that the more maritally satisfied women are getting.
The full explanation for this gender gap, however, is undoubtedly more complicated than that.
Long-term data from an Israeli study, for example, indicate that the life-lengthening powers of marriage have increased over time – but mostly for men.
Over nearly two decades, the study found, married men widened the already significant difference in cancer-death incidence between themselves and unmarried men by 25%; married women gained absolutely zero ground over their unmarried peers.
Why this somatic sexism? "This is a gross generalization, but women are really the mental- and physical-health housekeepers for a marriage," says psychologist Janice Kiecolt-Glaser of the Ohio State University College of Medicine. "They are often the ones who prod men to go to a doctor or to eat more healthily." Miriam Kamin's husband Mark agrees. "As a man, I'm more concerned with making sure the oil has been changed in the last 3,000 miles than with whether I had a physical lately," he says. "Miriam's much more likely to notice something is wrong with me than I am."
Why this somatic sexism?
"This is a gross generalization, but women are really the mental- and physical-health housekeepers for a marriage," says psychologist Janice Kiecolt-Glaser of the Ohio State University College of Medicine.
They are often the ones who prod men to go to a doctor or to eat more healthily.
"As a man, I'm more concerned with making sure the oil has been changed in the last 3,000 miles than with whether I had a physical lately," he says.
Miriam's much more likely to notice something is wrong with me than I am.
For all its benefits, marriage is not a gift certificate for good health. For one thing, it's fattening. According to a CDC study, married men are nearly 20% more likely to be overweight or obese than are men who have never married – perhaps because they simply have someone to sit down to dinner with each night or perhaps because the often empty refrigerator of a onetime bachelor fills up fast when someone is making sure to do the shopping.
For all its benefits, marriage is not a gift certificate for good health.
For one thing, it's fattening.
According to a CDC study, married men are nearly 20% more likely to be overweight or obese than are men who have never married – perhaps because they simply have someone to sit down to dinner with each night or perhaps because the often empty refrigerator of a onetime bachelor fills up fast when someone is making sure to do the shopping.
Data also show that the stress of a bad marriage can undo much of the good that comes with a happy one. In a series of studies, Kiecolt-Glaser and her husband, immunologist Ronald Glaser, also of the Ohio State University College of Medicine, found that "negative marital interaction," such as arguments, name-calling and nonverbal cues like eye-rolling lead to increases in cortisol and decreases in immune function and even wound-healing. The effects were observed in both sexes, but particularly strongly in women.
Data also show that the stress of a bad marriage can undo much of the good that comes with a happy one.
In a series of studies, Kiecolt-Glaser and her husband, immunologist Ronald Glaser, also of the Ohio State University College of Medicine, found that "negative marital interaction," such as arguments, name-calling and nonverbal cues like eye-rolling lead to increases in cortisol and decreases in immune function and even wound-healing.
The effects were observed in both sexes, but particularly strongly in women.
And when the protective bonds of marriage break, watch out. Those tales of spouses who die within days of each other have more than a little truth to them. A 2007 British study found that a bereaved spouse has a greater risk of death from just about any cause (except, oddly, lung cancer) than a still married person. "Over time," says neuroscientist James Coan of the University of Virginia, "your brain becomes used to the other person as part of your emotional-regulation strategy. You take that person away, and you become what we dryly call dysregulated – weepy, mournful, staying up half the night. This can come from death, divorce, even a long business trip. When those bonds break, it can cause a lot of pain and emotional suffering."
And when the protective bonds of marriage break, watch out.
Those tales of spouses who die within days of each other have more than a little truth to them.
A 2007 British study found that a bereaved spouse has a greater risk of death from just about any cause (except, oddly, lung cancer) than a still married person.
"Over time," says neuroscientist James Coan of the University of Virginia, "your brain becomes used to the other person as part of your emotional-regulation strategy.
You take that person away, and you become what we dryly call dysregulated – weepy, mournful, staying up half the night.
This can come from death, divorce, even a long business trip.
Certainly not all suddenly single spouses are fated to languish this way – no more than all people who never pair off are destined for a shortened life filled with illness and stress. Humans are resourceful creatures who build and rebuild networks of relationships, getting the attention, hand-holding and even scolding they need in a lot of different ways. Still, it's hard to argue with an institution that keeps a companion and caretaker constantly nearby, even if now and again – when a wet towel has once again been dropped on the floor or a tube of toothpaste has been squeezed all wrong – we may lose sight of that happy fact.
Certainly not all suddenly single spouses are fated to languish this way – no more than all people who never pair off are destined for a shortened life filled with illness and stress.
Humans are resourceful creatures who build and rebuild networks of relationships, getting the attention, hand-holding and even scolding they need in a lot of different ways.
Still, it's hard to argue with an institution that keeps a companion and caretaker constantly nearby, even if now and again – when a wet towel has once again been dropped on the floor or a tube of toothpaste has been squeezed all wrong – we may lose sight of that happy fact.