Chapter 02 Psychological Suffering

The Essence of Happiness and True Freedom

2.2-The.Essence.of.Happiness.and.True.Freedom Chapter2 Psychological Suffering

There are three main types of psychological sufferings:
the Suffering of Not Getting What One Wants, the Suffering of Separation from the Pleasant, and the Suffering of Association with the Unpleasant.

First, the Suffering of Not Getting What One Wants.
When people are greedy for something and desire to possess it, they must restrain their impulses before getting it. This suffering is referred to as the Suffering of Not Getting What One Wants. The stronger the greed and desire, the greater the suffering.

For example, when a person participates in a sports competition, the desire to win is the Suffering of Not Getting What One Wants. The stronger the competitive spirit, the bitter the feeling when suffering a loss, during the game one may even begin experience anxiety. If one loses the game, the feeling of distress may arise, one might even break down into tears. In the meantime, until the next match, one must endure the losses taken. The mindset of wanting to win brings back the Suffering of Not Getting What One Wants and may motivate one to endure pain from a hellish training session in order to win the next game.

Here is another example, people want a house of their own; the Suffering of Not Getting What One Wants looms over their shoulder. For many years they strive, however, they still may not have enough money to afford a house, as the price of the house increases in value over time, becoming unaffordable.

There are numerous examples in the Suffering of Not Getting What One Wants.

In this high-tech era, human beings experience more and more of the Suffering of Not Getting What One Wants. Those who do not own a house want one; those who posses a house dream buy a luxury mansion, and those who have a mansion want more mansions. Those who don’t have a car wish for a car, and then wish for a luxury car, and later even want more luxurious cars; some even wish to buy a plane. Well, the richest man in the world Elon Musk is preparing himself to immigrate to Mars. I think that saving the earth should be more conscientious and meaningful than migrating to Mars.Because immigrating to Mars can only save a very limited number of people. If saving the earth, you can help the entire human race. If the earth is preserved well, it could be used for thousands of years, isn't that more beneficial?

For the basic necessities of life such as food, clothing, housing and transportation, the more desire one has, the greater the Suffering Of Not Getting What One Wants, the more intense the desire, the more vigorous the Suffering Of Not Getting What One Wants. The Suffering Of Not Getting What One Wants will be accompanied by other negative emotions, such as sorrow, sadness, low self-esteem, jealousy, complain, worry about personal gains and losses and so on.

When one's greed is satisfied, one's Suffering Of Not Getting What One Wants will be relieved or fade away, and one will be happy.

Second, is the Suffering of Separation from the Pleasant.
When a loving pair is separated from one another for some reason, this will cause great suffering. When people lose their favourite item or it becomes damaged, this will also bring forth the great suffering.

In this earthly life, men and women have loving affection that develops into attachment. If due to some objective reasons that separation occurs, deep sorrow will erupt.The stronger the attachment and desire, the more painful the separation. The heart is torn apart, this feeling rooted in love and affection brings attachment. People who have affectionate attachment will have great suffering.

If one in a relationship falls in love for another, the other one may feel betrayed and love may turn into hatred; this may spark vengeful acts. That person may consider committing suicide, or they may kill. These types of murder cases from heartbreak ranks second among all.

The passing of a partner in a loving relationship will bring dismay to the surviving partner. Some may experience extreme grief and pass away in a depressive state.

On top of that, the emotional attachment and the mutual greed and desire between parents and children will also lead to the Suffering of Separation from the Pleasant, and stage various tragedies in life.

By the same token, let’s say people love something so much that it cannot be left out of their sight, if damaged they will suffer immensely and hold a grudge against anyone who may have caused damage to it. Likewise, if they lose something dear to them accidentally, they may feel regret and tormented. This is also the Suffering of Separation from the Pleasant.

When a lost person or thing they desire is found, the Suffering of Separation from the Pleasant will be relieved or released, and they will be happy once more.

Third, the Suffering of Association with the Unpleasant

If people encounter an opponent, they will always feel anxious and on guard, in fear of being hurt, attacked, plotted against, or even killed by the enemy. In the situations where the hostility is mild, but is obligated to stay with a person they dislike, distress will still arise.

The reason for most resentment between individuals is usually due to an individual stealing, defrauding, or robbing another of their values. One may also have beaten, scolded, or killed another individual’s loved one or pet; or they may slander, abuse, frame or persecute another person’s loved one or pets. From these examples we can see that resentment and the Suffering of Association with the Unpleasant are indirectly caused by greed and desire.

When the resentment is reconciled, the Suffering of Association with the Unpleasant will be relieved or resolved, and one will feel happy.

T**he source of happiness is suffering, and the essence of happiness is during the stage of relief or the total cessation of suffering; it is at the moment where the negative emotion eases off, and there is no other feeling accompanied by it. However, human beings are ignorant, they only want this feeling of relief but not the suffering itself. Well, the process of removing the suffering is always lingering, but the relief from the negative, emotional feeling is only an instance but temporary.

The so-called happiness快乐‘kuài lè’, 快‘kuài’ means temporary, 乐 ‘lè’ means relieved. **

Regardless of the source of the suffering, be it physical or emotional, the rise arise of the suffering itself is bitter, the extension of the suffering is bitter as well; Essentially, the relief or the cessation of the bitterness and the improvement of the negative emotional feelings fundamentally reduces the suffering. There is no other feeling accompanied by it. However, human beings perceive this process as comfort, happiness, and joyfulness. This is a misconception brought by human psychology. We refer to this diminishing of suffering as a transition to the Suffering of Change. So, what human beings perceive as comfort, happiness and joyfulness are the essence of the Suffering of Change.

If the relief of suffering has ceased, the so-called feeling of快乐 ‘kuài lè’ (happiness) will cease as well. That is to say, when the Suffering of Change ceases, ‘kuài lè’ also ceases; the Suffering of Change ends, ‘kuài lè’ also ends.

In addition, through the analysis above, we can conclude that the Suffering of Not Getting What One Wants, the Suffering of Separation from the Pleasant, and the Suffering of Association with the Unpleasant are three emotional sufferings brought by greed, desire and avariciousness.

In fact, the physical suffering explained in Chapter 1 is caused by the desire that brings out the psychological suffering and various negative emotions. They result in illnesses, or different subjective and objective factors that lead to an external injury or even death. This will cause the physical suffering.

In short, whether it is physical suffering or psychological suffering, the root cause is greed; and the stronger the greed, the more intense the suffering. In the same way, the Suffering of Change is the relief of suffering and the negative emotions; that is to say, the feeling of comfort, happiness, and joyfulness are the essence of the Suffering of Change.

The more intense the greed and desire, the more vigorous the Suffering of Change.