Love and Affection are not the Same Thing

爱和情不是一回事

已定稿

Since the beginning of time, mortals have clung to "I" as a real being. They also cling to the idea that other people are real beings.

从无始以来，凡夫执着 “我”，是个真实的存在。也执着其他人是真实的存在。

In the endless cyclic existence, ordinary people have gradually evolved and formed countless causes and conditions. In the process of interacting with each other, love is produced by the accumulated karma for many lifetimes. Love is caring and willing to give; Affection is developed by love, it is a mindset of attachment and possession. The two words, love and affection, are put together, one is to give, the other is to possess.

在轮回的长河中，凡夫众生逐渐演化 缔结了无数的因缘。在彼此的交往过程中，由多生累劫的业力，便产生了爱，爱是爱护，愿意付出的心态；由爱生情，情是情执，是执着和占有的心态，爱情两个字合起来一个是付出，一个是占有。

The deeper the love, the heavier the attachment, and the suffering that arises from attachment is deeper. The biggest source of anxiety and grief is "affection". Money can buy you material comforts instead of emotions which are very changeable.

爱得越深，情执也会越重，由情执而产生的痛苦也会越来越深。人类最大的痛苦和不安，就是这个“情”。因为物质我们可以花钱买得到，但这个人心，花钱也买不到，并且它是变化的。

Whey the first date, people tend to find each other attractive under the illusion their relationship would last forever. In fact, it is merely wishful thinking as relative stability doesn’t equate with permanence. With anxiety and karma in a state of flux, our mind and body are constantly changing.

最初相识，两情相悦，觉得对方很好，以为彼此的感情可以天长地久，其实，这只是一厢情愿的想法。相对稳定并不是长恒不变，每个人的烦恼和业仍然在衍化，每个人的身心时刻都在变化当中。

when they first date, both parties are happier because there are more love toward each other . Then slowly, the mutual love became less, the attachment of possession became stronger, began to quarrel around.

男女们谈恋爱的时候，都比较开心那个时候双方的爱比较多。后来慢慢的，互爱少了互相占有的情执重了，就开始吵来吵去。

The feeling we cling to, any evolution of it, can dominate our joy, anger and sadness, for everything is impermanent and cannot be grasped, especially the human mind, which is different in a flash, one thought is coveted, the next may be angry and complaining.

我们所执著的感情，它任何的演变，都能主宰我们的喜怒哀乐，因为任何事物都是无常，抓不住的，特别是人的心，刹那间就不一样了，前一念还贪爱，后一念可能就生气抱怨了。

Everyone with changing temper and thought, our karmic relationship is progressing out of personal control. Are we the same as who we were? Love may turn into suffering before we know it. As long as there is strong attachment and possessiveness, there will be suffering when love changes or ceases to exist. It could lead to the point of a broken heart, suicide, or even murder. The tragedies of killing are staged every day on earth.

每个人的性情和思想境界都在变化，两个人的缘分也在演变 ，无法把握， 无法掌控。我们还能向当初一样吗？爱情就是这样，在不知不觉中，变成了痛苦，当人类的情执变得很重、占有欲变得很强时，得不到或失去时就非常难受，为情而黯然神伤、心碎流泪的人比比皆是，甚至为情甚至为情而自杀，杀人的悲剧地球上每天都在上演。

In novels and movies, it is usually men who are so faithless as to transfer his affections to another woman. In fact, women are more faithless. Girl’s thoughts are hard to read as they are changing like clouds in the sky.

小说电影里，通常都是男人花心，容易移情别恋，其实，从实际情况来说，女人比男人变得更快。这个女孩的心像天上的云，变化很快，非常难琢磨。

On most occasions, in both mental and physical senses, man loves with more affection while woman loves with more possessiveness.

无论从心理学还是生理学上来说，通常情况下，男人比女人的爱要多一点，女人比男人的情要重一点。

What a woman expects to get from her husband is a supply of life material comforts such as food, clothes, shelter, car as well as power and good appearance rather than virtue and taste. A comfortable life and vanity count for more than love. Her realistic attitude to marriage is attributed to the fact that she values her children more than her love for her husband. To her, what matters most is whether her husband could support the family.

女人在找丈夫时，更多的是索取的心态，想找个依靠，最基本的是有衣有食，更好是有车有房，最好是有权有势，附带有才有貌。很少考虑男人是否有德又有品。她不一定要爱对方，能满足她的衣食无忧和虚荣心是最重要的。女人更现实一些，因为女人潜意识里，对儿女的爱和情更重，所以，男人必须要有养家糊口的能力。

However, love matters more in a man’s marriage decision. He won’t marry a woman he doesn’t love. To a woman, it is a different story.

而男人在择偶时，和女人的心态是有很大差异的。男人要是不爱，一般都不愿意娶，女人不爱，愿意嫁的多得很.

Marriage and family are generally based on attachments. The divorce rate in China will be spiraling upwards without the bond of children. Following the birth of the child, the couple develops “love and affection” for the child, parent-child bonds help keep the family together, Ordinary people now again fall prey to attachment and suffering.

婚姻和家庭是情执加重的必然结果。现今的中国家庭如果不生小孩的话，离婚率就会急剧攀升。很多家庭因为有了孩子以后，夫妻双方对孩子又产生了强烈的“爱和情”，孩子是一个纽带，双方都不愿意放弃，那就这样维持着。凡夫就这样，执着而痛苦着。

The enlightened one teaches us that fateful coincidence, as conditioned by our past, decides the probability of our meeting in this life. We’d better maintain good relationships and avoid conflict with more love but less affection. When a relationship doesn’t work out, why not take it easy and let it go with our blessing for the sake of our continued relationship in the next life?

觉悟者告诉我们，人和人之间都有缘分，而缘分的深浅前生已定 ，大家今生重逢不容易，但愿大家都能彼此珍惜，珍惜这段缘分，多一点爱，少一点情，今生的缘分尽了，该放手的时候，潇洒一点，彼此的祝福是来生 再续前缘 最好的链接。

备注
翻译： Koala
校对：张广龙
审稿：Nina