说话的艺术

Art of Speaking

已定稿

摘自《禅林宝训》07
Excerpt from Precious Teachings of the Chan Monastery, 07

有这样一个故事，从前有个德高望重的老禅师，很多人都慕名前往求教，老禅师对待来客，有的很不客气，不给好脸色；有的又显得和蔼可亲，奉若上宾。
There is such a story, once upon time, there was a highly respected old Zen master, many people came to him for advice by his reputation. The old Zen master treated some of his visitors very unkindly, not giving them a good face, while treated others, appeared to be kind and friendly, treating them like guests.
老禅师的侍者很好奇，就问道：您对待来求学的人为何态度差异这么大，不平等呢？
The old Zen master’s attendant was very curious and asked: Why do you treat people who come to study so differently and unequally?
老禅师笑道：面对有节操、有道义的可造之材，我的内心虽然是非常欢喜的，但为了他能有更好的成长，我就不跟他客气，不去附和他，纠正他的一些言辞，看到他丁点的错误和过失，就加以呵斥；
The old Zen master laughed and said, " When facing a virtuous and moral man, my heart is very happy, but for his better growth, I won't be polite to him, won't go along with him, I will correct some of his words, and rebuke him when seeing his slightest error or fault.
而对那些不可教化、偏邪谄佞的小人，我反而要和蔼可亲地对待，因为说了他的问题他只会憎恨你，我帮不了这样的人，所以对这样的人让他欢喜但保持距离就好。
While to those who are unteachable, evil and sycophantic, I should be kind, because if I talk about their problems they will only hate me, and I cannot help them, so for such people, cheer them up and keep your distance.
所以说话是一门艺术，对待不同的人，要用不同的方式。
So speaking is an art, treating different people in different ways.
就是同一个人，在他不同的情绪状态下，我们说话的态度都要随之调整。
Even for the same person, in his different emotional states, we have to adjust our speaking attitudes accordingly.
如果他状态比较好，心情愉悦，你找准机会，点他一下、刺他一下，他听着就觉得“你在帮助我”，痛并快乐着；
If he is in a good state, in a happy mood, you find an opportunity to hint him or stab him, and he may listen and think "you are helping me", being painful but happy.
他今天要是情绪不好，烦烦恼恼的，你对他就要和蔼一些了，你要是刺他一下，他就会起烦恼：可能会说“你怎么对我这么苛刻、这么不好”。
If he is in a bad mood today, if he is annoyed, you may have to be kind to him, if you stab him, he will be annoyed, or he may say, "Why are you so harsh and bad to me?"
同一个人，在不同的情绪下，他对你说话的反应都是不一样的。
The same person, in different moods, reacts differently to what you say.
并且有些话，你在电话里或短信里说，他就生气、抗拒了，但是你当面，借着一个事情讲同样的话，他可能又听得很高兴，乃至豁然开朗。
And some words, you say on the phone or in a text message, he gets angry and resists, but when you say in person, say the same words over a matter, he may be happy to hear it again, or even suddenly enlightened.
所以说作为师长，教育人得把握时机，采用正确的方法，顺势引导，没有机会的时候就不要乱说，不要好为人师。
So as a teacher, to teach people needs taking the right time, using the right methods to guide them along the way. When having not the chance, don't talk nonsense, don't be fond of teaching others.
越有智慧、有爱心和无私，就越能感受到他人的心情和状态，越能抓住好的时机劝谏别人。
The more intelligent, loving and selfless you are, the more you can feel the mood and state of others, and the more you can take a good time to advise others.

红色部分：koala译校 ，2022.3.24